Ma... How should I change my writing?

5. Work hard on building the child’s self –esteem:     

  

   We have seen that quite a few people have overcome their difficulties and made it big in life. The difference is, if the child feels good about himself/herself, the child will definitely succeed in life. If s/he feels inferior, s/he will fail. The self image of a child has an important role in this which makes him/her self confident.

Strong Ego ----> Positive Self Image ----> Confidence ----> Self- esteem ----> Perform better

Dyslexic leaders around the world have something to say about confidence and self esteem.

•   "Reading is just one way of communicating—and in the future, I think it won't be as important as in the past."
•   "I frankly think dyslexia is a gift. If you are supported in school and your ego remains intact, then you emerge with a strong work ethic and a different view of the world.” -Dr. Cosgrove.

Yes, all of the above will happen if the ego remains intact. The “if” is important here. Sigmund Freud’s theory said - the id, ego and superego are functions of the mind. According to this model of the psyche, id is the set of uncoordinated instinctual trends; the super-ego plays the critical and moralizing role; and the ego is the organized, realistic part of the mind and affects the individual personality.

If somebody’s ego is targeted, for the most part, it affects him/her negatively. It also puts a downward spin on his/her self-image, which consequently leads to a low confidence level and self-esteem. Children start thinking that they’re good for nothing, and that their presence in society is a burden. This line of thinking is extremely dangerous, both for the child and for the parents, and can lead to disastrous consequences, if not checked in time.

A simple example will help you understand. A six year old girl comes home in tears. When asked by her mother, she says, “Ma, my best friend showed my writing book to the entire class today and they laughed at me. When the ma’am came, I asked her to help. But she took one look at the book and laughed with the rest of the class and told me that I had the worst handwriting in the whole class. How should I change my writing?” 

What a terrible thing to happen to a little dyslexic girl? Beautiful penmanship is not in the child’s hands. She simply cannot do it. But our education system gauges a child’s ability to learn by the amount of work he/she writes down. This is next to impossible for a dyslexic child. How one wishes that the system had some alternative methods for assessing such children’s acuities! The educators themselves need to be educated with regard to this matter, otherwise it will definitely prove to be detrimental to the child’s mental health.

Furthermore, we need to teach our dyslexic children how to handle critical situations and not allow anybody to attack their ego.   He/she should be trained like a soldier and prepared to tackle any social situation that might arise out of sheer ignorance. Their defences should be well polished and ready for “attack” as and when required. That is not to say we teach them to be rude to others. We’re simply trying to empower the children to protect their fragile ego and defend themselves.

For instance, if someone says to a dyslexic child,” Oh, your writing is so bad. No one can read it.” The child can reply, ”Yes, that’s true, but my presentations and oral skills are excellent and no one can beat me in them.”

Despite all the precautions we take, the child may go back to point zero and start harboring negative thoughts and feelings, the result of his/her daily interactions with people and situations. As a parent, you should understand that the child will feel bitter, lost, sad, angry and worthless, but if you handle him/her with love, acceptance and warmth, the child will surely come out of his depression and try again. Your only tools are your love, support and encouragement. Go all out and envelop the child in your safety blanket, but also make him/her strong from within.